Day 6 — Single and Happy

Nikolas Panggabean
2 min readFeb 8, 2021

I should probably start with the first (and so far only) girlfriend I had, to help explain why the single life is pretty sweet at the moment.

We got together at the end of my first semester in university. We were in the same department and had a lot of common interests. My foolish self thought that it would last a long time, because it was pretty fruitful. However, it’s true when people say that being in a relationship (especially your first) teaches you a lot about yourself. What was initially bliss soon unraveled and we started to have a lot of arguments. It was our way of understanding ourselves and each other, and trying to find a compromise between us. Things got heated over trivial matters, and it turned out we had different values, ideals, and the way we wanted to carry our relationship. So, after a short three months, we broke up. In the end it was for the better because it became really toxic and didn’t help any of us.

Being single again made me rethink a lot of things about myself and others. I came to the realization that I don’t need a partner at the moment, I love being independent and free of the restrictions a relationship can entail. Being in a relationship unconsciously planted the idea that my partner was the only person I could lean on and share my problems with, which was total bullshit. I don’t know where I got that idea from. But that idea slowly eroded my social life in those few months because I felt like I didn’t need anyone else to talk to. It also made me rethink my idea of the perfect partner, and my vision of who I should be for that person.

My life ahead is still one long journey so I figured why not just kick back and enjoy it. In the time between my break-up until now, I’ve really enjoyed the moments spent with friends doing spontaneous (and sometimes crazy) things, hitting on girls, and working a part-time job as a barista. I still have other goals in mind to achieve (studying overseas, travelling, getting rich) before I start looking for someone but hey, a relationship builds naturally so maybe it’ll happen on my journey towards those goals.

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Nikolas Panggabean
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Someone trying to get back into writing.